02.07.2007 - 23.07.2007 18 °C
I am leaving for the airport in about 1 1/2 hour. Surprisingly, right now, I feel nothing. Maybe that has something to do with the fact that the time is 4am and I am thinking about crawling back in bed. Originally, I had plans to write some elaborate entry here about what this trip means to me. But really, right now, I just can't do that. On an almost obsessive level, I keep checking and rechecking my bags and documents - positive that I will forget something vital, like my passport, ID, insect repellent, or underwear.
I am leaving knowing I have some of the best friends in the world. The last few days, I have holed myself away at home, dealing with my nerves, feelings, and packing for this trip. I found myself to be cranky and each friend gave me the space I needed while I gathered my strength to go on this journey. Last night at dinner (see above picture), my friends asked me if I was ready and I couldn't answer the question. I was a bundle of nervous energy and wasn't able to focus enough to even search for the answer. Here I am now, needing to hop in the shower, make sure the cats have water, and re-check that I have all the necessary documents, and I ask myself "am I ready?" No matter what the answer is, I am leaving in an hour. But yes, I am ready. Despite my sister's unyielding belief that I will meet a gruesome death in Mexico or,in my father's words, that I am "wasting money" going on this trip, I am ready. I don't know what is going to happen down there but I do have faint images of me snorkeling in vivid blue water and standing in lush green jungles, quite alive and loving every money-wasted moment.